Losing Grip
by Momentary Dead King
Summary: As time passes, it gets tiring running after the flame. Trish Stratus thinks about the flame she was chasing and how she realizes that she can't catch something she can't touch anymore. *One Shot & Song Fic*


Losing Grip  
  
By Momentary Dead King  
  
Disclaimer(s): I don't own the wrestlers. Vince does. The wrestlers who play their characters own themselves. I just write about them.  
  
The song (read title) is sung and owned by Avril Lavigne.  
  
A.N.: It is official. Hell has frozen over. I am using an Avril Lavigne song. :kills herself:  
  
Anyway, I thought that this song fit with this couple for some reason, and I am not that big of a fan of this couple, but the song got me inspired *winkwinknudgenudge* ^.~  
  
*.* Song Lyrics  
  
~~~~~~  
  
He is gone. Just like that, he leaves. From what I have been told, he was having drug problems. How could he be this careless? He Did not he know that the people around him were trying to help? That I wanted to be by his side?  
  
*Are you aware of what  
  
You make me feel, baby  
  
Right now I feel invisible to you  
  
Like I'm not real*  
  
On screen, our relationship was growing. He saves me, kisses me, and just like that, he is my boyfriend. Off screen was completely different. He always kept to himself. I just thought he was anti social, until he came to talk to me last year. He told me that he broke up with his real life girlfriend, Beth. Soon, we were together. I don't know if it was pity or love. Everything started to change earlier this year.  
  
*Didn't you feel me lock my arms around you  
  
Why'd you turn away  
  
Here's what I have to say*  
  
I began to notice a change, both in attitude and health. He became lazy and reckless in the ring. Backstage, he was always in a foul mood. I also began to notice his deteriorating weight. Every time I tried to confront him about him, he just shoves me off. Soon, he stopped talking to me altogether. Whenever I was in trouble in the ring, he would come and save me, but that's it. I just became a Damsel-in-Distress to him, no longer a lover. Every time I wanted to be alone with him, he says "Not now" or "Later, Trish."  
  
Pre Chorus:  
*I was left to cry there  
  
Waiting outside there  
  
Grinning with a lost stare  
  
That's when I decided*  
  
It wasn't until after he left that someone had told me the whole story. He was on drugs and refused to get help. This stopped me cold. He *refused* help? They tell me not to care, it is not my problem, but that was the problem. I did care.  
  
Chorus:  
* Why should I care  
  
Cause you weren't there  
  
When I was scared  
  
I was so alone*  
  
I am alone now. They say it is better this way. They said that he treated me like crap and that he did not deserve me. They were right, but it took me a while to realize that. I was just walking around, asking myself "Why did he not want help? He knew the risks but he did not care. He could have died and he did not care. Did he *want* to die?" These thought nearly drove me into a silent madness.  
  
* You need to listen  
  
I'm starting to trip  
  
I'm losing my grip  
I'm in this thing alone*  
  
Now, everybody began to notice my behavior. I became a mute, did not eat much, and I kept to myself. I only acted "normally" when I was performing in the ring. Once after a show, Stacy Kiebler pulled me over to talk. "What is wrong with you?" She asked. "Nothing." I replied flatly. "Bullshit." Stacy whispered. "What do you want? I have to get back-  
  
"I want to help." She interrupts. "Do you think your were the one and only after he broke up with Beth? I have seen him with so many other fangirls, sweet talking them, telling them that he 'cared' about them." She said something else, but I was not listening. She got me thinking...  
  
* Am I just some chick  
  
You placed beside you  
  
To take somebody's place  
  
When you turn around  
  
Can you recognize my face  
  
You used to love me  
  
You used to hug me  
  
But that wasn't the case  
  
everything wasn't ok*  
  
"Did he care?"  
  
It has been months since his release. That talk with Stacy, albeit short, did open my eyes.  
  
*Pre Chorus*  
  
*Chorus*  
  
All this time, I have been crying. Silently, I was running after him, wishing he would come and scoop me off my feet again.  
  
*Crying out loud  
  
I'm crying out loud  
  
Crying out loud  
  
I'm crying out loud*  
  
But he cannot and will not. He stopped caring, so I stopped caring as well. I am tired. I cannot run anymore. I cannot run after you, Jeff. I cannot.  
  
*Open your eyes  
  
Open up wide*  
  
Wherever you are now, I hope you are happy. You were a flame, running after the wind. Why were you running, I will probably never know. All I know is that I cannot catch the wind, I can only follow it. Wherever it takes me now, I know that it will take me to happiness. Away from you.  
  
I hope you are happy. I know I am.  
  
~~~~~~  
  
A.N.: Ok...what is up with FF.net? How come the punctuation marks come out all wrong here? Did the system up grade go that badly? Whatsupwitthat!?!?!?!  
  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading. 


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